The Ultimate Chain Letter!
I was on my way to the post office to pick up my
case of free M&M's, (sent to me because I
forwarded their e-mail to five other people,
celebrating the fact that the year 2000 is "MM"
in Roman numerals), when I ran into a friend whose
neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from
having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky
Fried Chicken - which is predictable, since as
everyone knows, there's no actual chicken in
Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is why the
government made them change their name to KFC.
Anyway, one day this guy went to sleep and when
he awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of
ice and he was sore all over and when he got out of
the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN
STOLEN. He saw a note on his mirror that said
"Call 911!" but he was afraid to use his phone
because it was connected to his computer and
there was a virus on his computer that would
destroy his hard drive if he opened e-mail entitled
"Join the crew!" He knew it wasn't a hoax because
he himself was a computer programmer who was
working on software to prevent a global disaster
in which all the computers get together and
distribute the $250 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe
under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true - I
read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL
GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a
free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would
forward the e-mail to everyone I know.) The poor
man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to
report his missing kidneys, but a voice on the line
first asked him to press #90, which unwittingly
gave the bandit full access to the phone line at the
guy's expense. Then reaching into the coin-return
slot he got jabbed with an HIV- infected needle
around which was wrapped around a note that said,
"Welcome to the world of AIDS." Luckily he was
only a few blocks from the hospital- the one where
that little boy who is dying of cancer is the one
whose last wish is for everyone in the world to
send him an e-mail and the American Cancer Society
has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he
receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them
was a bunch of x's and o's in the shape of an angel
(if you get it and forward it to more than 10
people, you will have good luck but for 10 people
you will only have OK luck and if you send it to
fewer than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK FOR
SEVEN YEARS). So anyway the poor guy tried to
drive himself to the hospital, but on the way he
noticed another car driving without its lights on.
To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was
promptly shot as part of a gang initiation. It was
then he knew he should have sent that e-mail he
got last week. If you don't want this to happen to
You should send this e-mail to all your friends.
Have a great day!
Download ssc here.
The Ultimate Chain Letter

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