We Got uh Elegance...
Nice Try...
On a lonely, moonlit country road, a young man's car engine started to cough. Immediately pulling over to a scenic little spot, he said to the young lady next to him, "That's funny, I wonder what that knocking noise was."
"I'll tell you one thing for sure," said the girl coolly. "It wasn't opportunity."
Stop Yelling!
As a young married couple, a husband and a wife lived in a cheap housing complex near the military base where he was working.
Their chief complaint was that the walls were paper thin and they had no privacy. That was painfully obvious one morning when the husband was upstairs and the wife was downstairs on the telephone. She was interrupted by the doorbell and went to greet her neighbor.
"Give this to your husband," he said, thrusting a roll of toilet paper into her hands. "He's been yelling for it for 15 minutes!"

First Kiss
At the end of their first date, a young man takes his favorite girl home. Emboldened by the night, he decides to try for that important first kiss.
With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her, "Darling, how about a goodnight kiss?"
Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh, come on! Who's going to see us at this hour?"
"No, please. Can you imagine if we got caught?"
"Oh, come on. There's nobody around. They're all sleeping!"
"No way. It's just too risky!"
"Oh, please, please. I like you so much!"
"No, no and no. I like you too, but I just can't!"
"Oh, yes you can. Please!"
"No, no. I just can't."
Out of the blue, the porch light goes on and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled.
In a sleepy voice, the sister says, "Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or, I can do it. Or, if need be, dad says he will come down and do it himself. But for crying out loud, tell him to take his hand off the intercom button !!

Virtual Reality
A new supermarket opened near my house and it has an automatic water mister that keeps the produce fresh. Just before it turns on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh hay.
In the meat department, there's an aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.
For the record, I don't buy toilet products there anymore.
Have a great day!
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We Got uh Elegance

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